Fall holds significance for many as they reflect on the year's progress. As we reflect on the accomplishments, works in progress, and remaining things on our to-do list, it can be overwhelming. There are so many ends of the year goals you're still crushing and trust me… your loved ones see you working hard at them! 😉
What is self-care? It is the practice of taking action to preserve and protect happiness, contentment, and wellbeing. The Human Experience (tHE) feels like a blur most of the time, because we seldom remember to slow down and realize the present moment. There is where self-care is a crucial piece in our lives, tHE, where incorporating it as a lifestyle can help with goal crushing, balancing moments of hardship in life, mental clarity, ability to reflect with a conscious mind, and living life as organically as possible.
Self-care does not mean indulging and consuming in excess or junk. It is the act of taking you by the hand, and giving your soul, mind, body, and spirit a metaphorical spa treatment. Take a spa day if you'd like. But there are many studies that speak on the benefits of a self-care routine, such as happiness, good mental health, and overall happiness. Below are seven pointers that I follow and hold true in my self-care lifestyle.
Create your self-care ritual. This is number one for a reason. A self-care ritual is important to ensure it's growing to your needs, goals, and your Human Experience. Write the ritual on a physical piece of paper, not just on your cell phone or tablet. To spell it out is essential to bringing the routine to life. Make sure this ritual is accessible when you need a reminder or pick-me-up. The Eight Dimensions of Wellness is an easy reference of the type of routine that will better life during difficult times and maintain a self-care embodied lifestyle. An example of a self-care routine is below:
Move your body daily, no matter what! Tired? Do a 30-minute walk.
Practice strength, yoga, and cardio throughout the week
Drink water, lots of it. More than you think. Limit to one can of soda a day.
Track your food intake to track vitamins, calories, carbs, protein, and fats.
No stimulation (phones, or TV) an hour before bedtime on weeknights.
Find yourself in a book, journal, or talk to loved ones. Relaxing music is okay.
Sleep 7-8 hours a day.
Self- pamper by taking a nice bath, masking your face and hair. Preferably on Sundays.
Practice Mindfulness through Yoga and Meditation
For me, yoga and meditation were transformational in changing my mindset during my teenage years in the foster care system. Yoga and meditation are non-negotiable in my lifestyle, besides exercise. Never feel the need to become a flexible yogi master to impress social media, but make the practice, connecting within yourself, the movement and power of breath your focus. Discover diverse yoga styles like Yin, Hatha, Kundalini, and many others. If you want to challenge yourself after integrating yoga practice in your life, alterative practices for yoga such as warrior sculpt, hot yoga, or Buti carry all the benefits of traditional yoga plus more sweat per session.
A collective review from the University of the East Carolina University Brody School of Medicine determined that the use of yoga and meditation, along with similarly categorized practices such as Tai Chi and Qi Gong, has a positive impact on wellbeing. This paper specifically focused on studies of subjects with anxiety and depression disorders, which applies to almost 30% of the United States! Ultimately, there is no negative impact to going yoga or meditation (always consult with a doctor first and during). I highly recommend adding this to your weekly routine.
Write your plan for long-term self-care because finances, life blossoms in a different direction, and other mishaps happen. This is another major one that we may not speak about at a catch-up dinner with friends, but it is realistically a part of life. The Human Experience not only unfolds so quickly, but death, separation, lay-offs, business closures, and so many other occurrences are bound to occur around you. No one is lucky enough where nothing happens to them, no matter how much they meditate, do yoga, or keep to a healthy routine.
It is good to reconnect with your long-term plan of life yearly at a minimum, but even better to go through your three-year plan every change of season (sorry if you live in the desert, but I am on New Jersey time!). Write it down, physically, on paper. Spell this OUT. If you have a partner, be sure they are aware and aligned with your plan because their help and support are mandatory.
Here is a quick and dirty example, very Americanized, of a Long-Term Self-Care plan:
Starting Jan 2025, I will put $250 away every paycheck in a high yield savings and up my 401K contribution to 11% to support my retirement in the Florida Keys.
I vow not to touch my accounts, ever.
I will pay all the debt in order to budget for my wedding in 2027, with $15,000 saved for the wedding.
I will maintain a muscle mass of 30% and a fat of 20% for health benefits.
I will set up a life term plan, will, and other plans to secure family planning.
Aim for balance, not perfection. As I mentioned in my other blog post, Balance is your friend. Perfection is a facade that I do not support, but I support balance because it's real. Let's be realistic and know that you will not do yoga, meditate, maintain a healthy routine, read ten pages a day, clean your house, and do everything else every single day. Give yourself grace, but do not let yourself fall into major imperfections. Try to ask loved ones to help you work through lifestyle changes and incorporating self-care. If they're not incorporating it for themselves… well, tell them to start this blog from the beginning! 😉
Pursue a beloved or desired hobby. In tHE, everyone in my life grew into hungry adults, where we seek to complete goals every year. Adults in tHE have a tendency to carry childhood dreams with them, where some want to get back into a hobby they enjoyed or start something they've never done before. Some call it bucket lists or living their inner child. I call it living in your path and honoring yourself.
Refuse negativity: people, things, and thoughts. Negativity is critical to steer clear from while you are in a difficult space as well. You meditate, step away, lay on the floor and decompress. Practicing trauma-informed care in your relationships is another step in the healing process and the road to self-love. Some may hurt others unintentionally or intentionally, but it is not personal to you. Although you're in the center of a situation, argument, or negative space, there is something within the involved parties they have not healed from. As such, you gobble the negativity that fills the air, which is not fair. Steer clear by calmly thinking before reacting, leaving a space, or recommending for the person(s) to provide space for you to decompress. My favorite question is always, what happened to them? Versus Why are they treating me like that?
As Don Miguel Ruiz always states in his work, do not take it personally.
One size does not fit all. It is critical to know that one should not follow every aspect listed above exactly as written because every Human Experience is different. You may need more in your routine, a customization of the above, less, or major components I may not know about you. Overall, tHE is not one size fits all and one should work with the professionals, loved ones, and other stakeholders in your life (INCLUDING YOURSELF) to define your self-care lifestyle. Do not walk into a new pair of shoes without confirming its purpose and alignment with your spiritual path.
Reflection, then action. You deserve your love. <3. Namaste.
References
1. Jordan, M. (2023). The Power of Connection: Self-care strategies of social wellbeing. Journal of Interprofessional Education & Practice, 31 (2023) 100586.
2. Swarbrick, M. (2006). A Wellness Approach. Psychiatric Rehabilitation Journal, 29(4), 311–314.
3. Glowiak, Matt. “What is Self-care and Why is it Important For You?” Southern New Hampshire University, 23 Jan. 2023, https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/health/what-is-self-care.
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